Can you be sensitive and a boss ass b****?

Opening up about the paradox of being strong and sensitive at the same time

This might sound like an overstatement, but I think about this question almost daily. Not always in those exact words, but in some version of: if I feel this deeply, how can I possibly be strong enough to handle everything? If I show this side of myself, will people still take me seriously - will they still see me as strong?

I have always been incredibly sensitive.

I always get very affected by things, whilst other people around me seem to be okay.

Almost anything can make me cry (happy or sad).

I take a lot of things personally because I read into situations too deeply.

I cry on every flight I go on because I just deep everything (not always from sadness!)

I think you get the gist, there is a lot of emotion that circles through me at all times!

I was very good at covering it up for ages, but as I grew more in touch with myself, it started coming out a lot more and in front of others. Sometimes that was met with judgement, and sometimes with love.

“High sensitivity is not a disorder. It is a normal, innate trait found in 15–20% of the population. It’s a different way of processing information—more deeply, more emotionally.”
– Dr. Elaine Aron

I think the times it has been met with judgement (not in a malicious way at all), it’s really affected me and made me question this side of myself. It’s made it difficult for me to trust people and to open up fully because I wondered if they would accept this side of me, or just think it was really weird/that I was just not strong enough to handle things.

I really hate the concept of not being seen as a strong person. I don’t know if it’s because I don’t fully believe it in myself? I look at my life and what I’ve done and I see, huh, only a strong person would be able to get through that, so have some belief in yourself!

But sometimes it’s still not enough to convince me. I’m sure a lot of people feel this way about themselves too.

I don’t think society’s definition of what strength is really helps either. When I hear people comment on how strong someone is, it tends to be because they appear stoic, in control and totally unaffected. They’re able to just push through with no complaints.

Well I completely disagree if I’m being honest.

When I look back at my life, it’s always been significantly easier to just keep going and stay silent, rather than speaking out.

It’s always felt easier to just put up with shit I hate, rather than tell the person how they make me feel.

What’s fucking challenging is standing up for yourself - that’s strength. Seeing yourself for who you are and vouching for that version of yourself in front of other people.

I’m trying to define strength on my own terms so that I can have this belief in myself and give myself the credit where its due. In order to do so though, its always helpful to look to the outside world and see how people similar to you have done things.

I admire Serena Williams, Michelle Obama, Aryna Sabalenka - they are fighters. When I read something on the internet that Serena could be an HSP (highly sensitive person), it made me so happy. Whether it’s true or not, it made me realise how inspired I would feel to see one of my role models accomplish everything they have whilst being sensitive.

This is a topic that I find difficult to open up about, but maybe that’s exactly why I need to talk about it more. So that other people who feel the same can see that you can do badass things, and also cry because someone simply told you that they missed you. Both are possible - somewhere inside of me I do know that.

If you resonate with this article in anyway, please leave your thoughts in comments below - I’d love to hear what people think!

Quote of the week:

“The highly sensitive person sees the world through a microscope. They feel deeply, care deeply, and notice the subtleties that others miss. That’s not weakness—it’s power.” - Anonymous